how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
