I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
