Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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