My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
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Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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