yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
