What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
