no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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