chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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