I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
