How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
