im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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