i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize