I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
