he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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