My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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