It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
