that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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