she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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