So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize