I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize