the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize