Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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