thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
