I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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