Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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