I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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