He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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