Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
