are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
