Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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