Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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