His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Four minutes until I can fart!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
