That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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