i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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