The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
