i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week