Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.