someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...