New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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