It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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