I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
