I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
