Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
