I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
