And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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