She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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