Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
