He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
