Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
