redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
whose parrot is this?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
