No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
