Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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