Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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