We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed