Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant