i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT