don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
