Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
