dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
