The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
