hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fuck appropriateness.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
